Let’s start here, because I hear this all the time:
“I’m awkward.”
“I hate photos of myself.”
“I never look good in pictures.”
“I don’t know what to do with my hands.”
And every time, I want to gently call it what it is: Not truth. Not fact. Just… a story you’ve been told, over and over, until it started to feel permanent.
Because here’s the thing. You are not bad at being in photos. You’ve just been photographed by people who didn’t know how to see you. There is a huge difference.
Most people’s experience with being photographed comes from rushed sessions, stiff posing, or someone barking directions like “smile” without ever creating a space where you could actually feel something real. You were expected to perform instead of exist. To pose instead of connect. Of course those photos didn’t feel like you. That doesn’t mean you’re the problem. It means the experience was.
When I photograph someone, I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for YOU. That moment where you forget the camera is even there because you’re laughing at something ridiculous your partner just said. The way your shoulders drop when you finally feel comfortable. The quiet in-between where you lean into each other without thinking. That’s where you live. That's where the image is. And that’s what most people have never been given the chance to see in themselves.
A good photographer doesn’t just place your hands and fix your posture. A good photographer isn't even the one who has the best prompts. A good photographer is one that can read energy. They notice when you’re starting to retreat into yourself and gently shift things before you even realize it’s happening. They guide without controlling. They create space for you to show up as you actually are, not who you think you’re supposed to be.
Because posing is only a small piece of it.
Safety is the rest.
If you’ve ever felt stiff in photos, it’s not because you’re awkward. It’s because you didn’t feel safe enough to relax. If you’ve ever cringed at your own images, it’s not because you’re not photogenic. It’s because the photo didn’t reflect how you feel when you’re truly yourself. And you deserve that version.
My couples are often the ones who say they’re “too weird,” “too much,” or “not the kind of people who take good photos.” They’re into sci-fi, fantasy, DIY builds, chaotic joy, quiet intimacy, or something completely their own. They don’t want to be turned into a Pinterest template. They want to be seen for who they truly are, and when that happens, everything changes. The photos feel like memories instead of performances. You stop wondering what you look like and start feeling what’s happening. You see yourself the way the people who love you already do.
Not perfect. Not posed.
Just real.
So if you’ve been carrying that belief around, that you’re bad at photos, I want you to question where it came from.
Because I promise you this.
You are not too awkward.
You are not too much.
You are not unphotogenic.
You just haven’t been seen yet.
And when you are, it doesn’t feel like trying harder.
It feels like finally exhaling.
